TFTD - You have Christ, and Christ has you

"Christ has no body on earth now but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours.  Yours are the eyes through which to look out Christ's compassion to the world.  Yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good, and yours are the hands with which he is to bless us now."

                                                                                      - Teresa of Avila -

TFTD - We can be heroes

"God is preparing His heroes; and when the opportunity comes, he can fit them into their places in a moment, and the world will wonder where they came from."

                                                                           - A. B. Simpson -

What I learned from my dog

Yesterday, on the first day of the new year, my dog passed away. He had been with me for 18 years, having spent his first year abandoned before we rescued him - just as he was running out of time and the SPCA was about to put him down. Max was saved, and though he was "only" a dog, his life had purpose and meaning. He was part of a plan, and his life has shown me how crucial we can be to God's plan, even if we don't know it; even if we do nothing else but simply live. 

Max taught me so many things - even if it did take me some time to recognise some of them. He taught me:-

* That true love really doesn't think of itself. He was fiercely protective, and in turn, I would have done anything for him.

* That sometimes, love means letting go.

* To love with my whole heart.

* To always be happy to see the people I love.

* To smile a lot.

* Never to hold a grudge. (He was really good at this; I am still working on it!)

* To forgive, quickly and willingly - though that doesn't mean allowing people to walk all over you time and again. He was no pushover :)

* To approach each new day and every new experience with enthusiasm - even the walk he took pretty much every day of his life was utterly thrilling to him, every single time.

* To be grateful for the small things. I've never met anyone so happy to be given a single scoop of vanilla ice cream :)

* To show affection to the ones I care for, freely and often.

* To be patient (no one was as patient as Max waiting for us to finish what we were doing and take him for a walk / to the park / for a drive. That dog could out-wait the most determined procrastinator... And he was so patient when he fell ill it inspired me even while it broke my heart.)

* To be tolerant.

* To never give up, but to know when to let go.

* To be strong, but to know it's not weak to lean on someone else.
* To be brave, and it's ok to be afraid.

* To share, no matter how much or how little I have.

* To think of others.

* To be sensitive to how others feel, and to freely offer sympathy and a hand (paw) to hold.

* To just be there for those I love, unfailingly.

* To give lots of cuddles.

* To be humble.

* To trust and have faith. Max never doubted that I would love him and keep him safe. If my little dog could have such absolute faith in me, why do I have trouble putting my life in God's hands as completely and willingly as Max put his in mine?

* To be loyal.

* To never be afraid to show my joy - or to share my sadness with those who love me.

* To feel the wind and the sunshine on my face and rejoice, just because. 

* To take pleasure in every meal, and just enjoy it for what it is.

* To get enough sleep!

* To protect and defend those I love. 

* To live in the moment. Max had mastered this, and I think a lot of his happiness came from this place! This is a big one, and I'm going to keep trying because so much comes from this one thing.

* What you look like doesn't matter. It's what's in your heart, and in your soul (though Max was utterly gorgeous). 

* What someone else looks like, how much they know or what they have really really doesn't matter - what does matter is their heart and how they treat you.
* Things don't matter. People do.

* To treat others with respect.

* To be silly sometimes.

* To play, every chance I get.

* To laugh, a lot.

* To be kind.

* To enjoy every day to its fullest, whether you are deaf, blind, ill, in a wheelchair or in pain. Max enjoyed life right to the very end, and se he got every last possible atom of joy out of it, and gave even more.

* To give more than you receive.

*To be thankful.

* To sit under the shade of a tree on a hot day now and then.

* To do nothing from time to time, but just be, and not feel guilty about it.

* To accept praise, attention and recognition without excusing it away.

* To accept love without minimising it.

* To accept that I am worthy of love without questioning it.

Just by living, Max taught me all this and much much more. Not bad for a little dog, huh?

My darling Max, always smiling

At rest, in his favourite place, under the most fragrant flowering tree in the garden

New Year's Prayer

God grant us this year a wider view,
So we see others' faults through the eyes of You.
Teach us to judge not with hasty tongue,
Neither the adult ... nor the young. 

Give us patience and grace to endure 
And a stronger faith so we feel secure. 
Instead of remembering, help us forget
The irritations that caused us to fret. 

Freely forgiving for some offense
And finding each day a rich recompense.
In offering a friendly, helping hand 
And trying in all ways to understand; 

That all of us whoever we are ... 
Are trying to reach an unreachable star.
For the great and small ... the good and bad,
The young and old ... the sad and glad

Are asking today; Is life worth living? 
The answer is only in, loving and giving.
For only Love can make man kind
And Kindness of Heart brings Peace of Mind.

By giving love, we can start this year
To lift the clouds of hate and fear.


                                                                    - Helen Steiner Rice - 
* In memory of Max

TFTD - love letters

"We are all pencils in the hand of a writing God, who is sending love letters to the world."

                                                                                 - Mother Theresa -

MZT

This is my cat - Mao Ze Tung, also known as MZT. The other names I have for him are so silly that even my family give me weird looks when I talk to him. He died today, of kidney failure, after fifteen years as one of the family. 

MZT came to us as a stray kitten. He just turned up in the garden one day, and as we kept feeding him, he kept coming closer and closer, trusting us more and more. Eventually, he moved himself into the house, onto the sofa and into our hearts and he just never left. He was always free to come and go, but he chose to stay. 

We adored this cat, and my granny spoiled him. He didn't eat cat food, oh no. At 8.30 every morning and 6.45 every evening, MZT would turn up and sit expectantly before the oven in which fresh fish was being grilled for him. On the weekends, he would get fresh grilled prawns as well. If he wanted to sleep in the living room, we had to turn down the lights and the volume of the television so as not to disturb him. 

I am so sad he's gone, but I can't be sorry, because I know he was beginning to suffer. All his life, he was in perfect health. He never had to go to the vet until 6 months ago, when old age started to catch up with him. He was still beautiful, sleek and glossy on the outside, but things were deteriorating on the inside. This time, MZT was at the vet, yet again, and we were thinking we might have to put him down. He so hated drips and all the other treatment, and it was hard to watch him losing his dignity. But he just slipped away, before granny could get there to say goodbye,  and when the vet called Granny told her not to revive him. It hurt, but it was the right thing to do. You can't hold on to something and make it suffer; because we love him, we had to put him first, and that meant letting him go. 

So he's been buried under lime tree he loved to laze under, surrounded by the best flowers in the garden. And although I want to cry for my loss, I am so thankful for the fifteen years of love and laughter MZT blessed us with by choosing to stay, for as long as he could. 

God's creatures

Sunday morning, the last day of our retreat was lovely. I should say first that the whole experience was moving, due in no small part to our brilliant chaplain, who was leading us and had clearly put a lot of love and hard work into his preparation - besides putting up with us being silly on the drive up and down, and being made to listen to ABBA :) There's christian endurance for you! J put it best - "it's lovely to see someone shining so brightly in their vocation".

Anyway, I thought I'd have a little quiet time after Lauds and breakfast (around 8am). So I opened the window to let the world in, then closed my eyes and had a word with God. And when I opened my eyes, there was, I kid you not, a robin sitting on the window sill, staring at me with his bright little onyx eyes. Above the radiator, where it was nice and warm. I didn't want to scare him away, so I stayed as still as possible and looked back at him.

We sat like that for maybe 10 minutes, me looking at him and him looking at me. Then, because I can never help myself, I started having a little chat with him. If you know me, this is less crazy than it sounds. I will talk to pretty much anyone or anything, including random people on the bus, dogs, myself, and any equipment that is either not functioning or is being unexpectedly cooperative. So why not talk to a robin?

I told him some stuff I was thinking, and I read him a poem - he seemed like he was listening. He turned to look at me as I walked around the room. When it was time for Eucharist, I said goodbye and left the window open for him.

Much later, when it was time to leave and I went to collect my stuff, he was still there. I didn't want to shoo him away, so I just put my hand palm up on the sill beside him, thinking that would probably make him decide it was time to leave before the crazy lady got too close. But did he fly away? No. He hopped onto my hand! I wish I could have taken a picture, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't going to hang around while I got my camera and flashed it in his face. Instead I picked him  and reached out of the window, and he finally flew away.

I could tell you everything that experience has made me think and feel since, but that would spoil it for both of us. Some things are just wonderful, and that's good enough.